Thu 24 May 2018

General Data Protection Regulation

Due to the new General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) that hit Europe, like a weapon of mass confusion, I (hereinafter we, or the monkeys and me) would like to give a statement about data processing, or in our terms mustering of bits, at

Indeed, this website is very concerned about its data protection. As you read this text, fragments of it retain in your brain, your data access terminal or exacortex. Hence, to track down data that might be stored by you, this website makes an instant backup-copy while you read it. This process is performed by processing your memories on our Turing machine and storing them by flipping quantum-dots on an infinitely long toilet paper. On both ends of the toilet paper, there are little burning trash bins where all remains of the backup copy are eventually burned to ashes. In between the bins, there are separate groups of highly drugged monkeys that muster all bits found in the quantum-dots. The monkey groups are all connected by a state of the art rot13 encrypted ultra low speed communication channel built up on bogo-drum and white noise signaling. In fact, presumed the ever hungry monkeys find an embedded fragment of pi, they scramble it by munching it instantaneously.

Please inform us (the monkeys and me) if the reason for storage of aforementioned data has vanished and you actually have deleted or forgotten mentioned data set. Then we can in in contrast burn our quantum-entangled counterpart of the data stored on toilet paper. Thus, this procedure ensures that we also forget what you knew and forgot afterwards - then your and our data is secure and protected again.

Sincerely yours,

The monkeys and Me